There should be an age restrictor on self-serve tills in supermarkets. Too many times have I opted for the quick and easy option of self service only to be confounded at every turn by the stout appearance of an old timer. Sometimes it’s that I only have one or two items, other times it’s that the nature of my purchase is somewhat embarrassing. Either way, I reserve the right to be served in a timely manner, and for that reason I propose we ban all old people from supermarkets.
If you have a pair of scissors and you remove the pin holding the two blades together – would you have a scissor in one hand, and a scissor in the other? As a work colleague mused, the answer to that question probably lies somewhere in the root of the word, incisor.
Madden NFL 11 is pissing me off. Yes, I only have the demo so far as it hasn’t been released in the UK yet…but geez guys. I didn’t spend days on NFL 10 learning all the routes and plays (which is hard for a non-native to the sport) only to have you slap me in the face with the all new retard-encouraging Gameflow system. Its just like that Mario game that helps you if you get stuck, or like the little paperclip man in Microsoft Word – both of them suck and just make people lazy. And people who play video games already, do not need things being made easier for them.
I feel as though if world government had no strict immigration laws – countries would be just like bars. All the underage people would hang out somewhere, all the 18-25yr olds somewhere else, and all the people clinging onto their youth would go somewhere else. Countries would go through phases of being cool and un-cool, chic and non chic – and you’d always be able to move someplace else when it became too popular and started attracting douchebags. You wouldn’t have problems with illegal immigrants then, only illegal cougars.
Who invented wallpaper? Nobody has ever been able to answer me.
My screenplay, “Learning to be Possessed” just made it through to the third round of the Kaos British Feature Screenplay Competition – which makes me think that perhaps it wasn’t that bad after all. The winner’s screenplay goes into production with upwards of a £2million budget (not a huge amount I know), and the finalists all get a Mac, some software and some even get an agent. I would honestly trade in winning the competition, and a free Mac (no surprise there) if I could get Ari Gold to be my agent.
My work consists of sitting at a desk all day pretending to do things while I click back and forth between open windows. This causes my brain to turn to mulch, it stifles my creativity, removes rhyme and reasoning, and grinds me into becoming a drone. I view this as being a form of sensory deprivation and therefore a direct violation of my human rights. Relax your internet laws Mr CEO, porn breaks at lunch have been proven to be great motivators: “Yes, I’ll have the BLT, a mocha, aaand gimme Back Door Action Sluts 3.”
Plug the comic book. I have a comic book coming out, though its looking as thought its going to be pushed back to Easter time 2011. Sad face.